I am so ready for this year to be over and to begin anew again. 2012 was a very difficult year for me on many levels and I don’t know that I’ve fully recovered, but I am ready to be done with the heart ache the year presented me with. As of a few weeks ago, I am another year older so it’s always the bizarre quiet time between Christmas and New Years that gets me thinking about the year ahead. And the changes I want to make.
I was fired twice in 2012 — and each time was an utter shock to my system as I had never been fired before. The first time in March, I suspected it was coming because I was working with a group of men who didn’t understand me let alone like me, and I was completely frustrated by their small thinking… but I still was upset when I got fired because they didn’t even try. I tried every day and they didn’t even bother talking to me. One day shortly before the firing came down, I walked into the company kitchen and everyone was in there. I looked at everyone, no one looked back at me, so I turned around and walked out. I knew it was over. I am glad to be done with that company but still somewhat bothered that they think it was all my fault that I didn’t do the job successfully. Their wipespread lack of communication skills were huge in the non-success of the position. I have still not been replaced because “they hate marketing”.
The second firing came much quicker and swifter and the sting was felt much deeper. Another group of small-minded men who had no idea I was going to be as opinionated as I am. I was shown the door about 3 months into the gig and honestly did not see it coming until about one hour before it happened (I was locked out of all social media accounts!). I am too smart and too old to accept being treated poorly by men bosses just because they are bosses. I spent much of my younger years working for awful men and I just cannot do it anymore. So while I wish I was able to walk out on these situations, I’m glad I was fired because it made me move even quicker towards a job that feels less like a job and more like something I want to be spending my time doing.
I am now working as a small business coach, helping business define their voices online through various different channels. I like doing this and I enjoy the interesting people I am working with. I’m still very new in the business but I am confident that I will grow into this and develop my skills. I am looking to perhaps be a VA, a virtual assistant, so that I may do the work from anywhere in the world and not be tied to Chicago. I don’t think I will move out of Chicago, but I would like to leave it a LOT more in 2013 because I have been trapped here for sometime, given all the financial hardships that come with losing two jobs in less than a year. (actually less than six months!) I have been operating in automatic drive this year because I had no time to fall a part when I desperately needed to find a job.
I stuffed so many feelings down, turned down opportunities to be with friends and as of late, have stopped working out — all things that I will defintely be resurrecting in my daily 2013 life. I stopped looking at men in 2012; well, I turned a blind eye to men because the year was such an emotional roller coaster. I had a few dates over the past few months, but I honestly cannot look to getting involved with someone if I have finacial stress, let alone I need a job stress as well. But I look to change that this year. I’m ready to get back into the game. I won a 10-day trip to Turkey from writing a short essay on how I would spend a 3-day New Year celebration, and I am super excited about this trip! But also to get back to one of my most favorite things in the world; traveling. I am aligning myself to do just that and to live it through blogging and instagram (will I even stay with instagram? Who knows, maybe not!) and other social media channels. While I wish to do less social media and have more real life experiences, I don’t think I will ever shake the social media habits completely, but I do want to use it smarter. With intention and not just to be ridiculous.
2013, let’s play, you and me.